“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou
In a 2017 research study from Vanderbilt University, Dr. Bruce Compas evaluated various coping strategies of 80,000 child participants. The study affirmed that the most effective coping strategies of children facing chronic disease are those which promote children learning to adapt to their stressors rather than trying to change the stressors altogether.
Today, I had a touching moment with a patient. This moment connects the quote by Maya Angelou and the study by Bruce Compas. I hope this story reminds us how essential empowerment is to our patients.
I have developed quite the special bond with a precious school age patient named Sarah (that’s what we will call her). Though she is very shy, she always softly asks her nurse if I can stop by to see her, even if not a lot of words are exchanged.
Today was no different. I spent time engaging her in a quiet therapeutic activity because I knew that she was about to face a series of painful injections in the days ahead. I worked with Sarah to create a “Brave Monster” out of a styrofoam cup with a hole in the bottom for her to blow “brave breaths” to make the streamers on the end of the cup move when she would get the “poke”.
During this activity, her mom shared with me that Sarah had to come to the emergency room over the weekend due to a fever. The mom shared that Sarah was terrified to be in an ER with new staff she had never met before and refused to let them access her port. She buried her face into her mom and cried, refusing to let anyone near her.
Her mom reported that she tried to help Sarah by connecting her experience to a familiar staff member and asked Sarah, “What would Allie tell you if she were here right now?”
“Allie would say, ‘Sarah, you are strong and brave. Even when it is hard, you are brave because you do what you need to do.'”
It’s true. I would say that. In this case, Sarah didn’t exactly “forget what I said” according to Maya Angelou. But, hearing her mom re-tell this story almost brought tears to my eyes. Sarah didn’t rely on a specific coping strategy like, “play Moana on the iPad” or “look away and take deep breaths”, instead she relied on the bravery I saw in her. She relied on how she felt when I reminded her of her strength. She learned to adapt to her stress rather than trying to change it.
This moment today was a reminder to me about the meaningful and valuable role of our child life profession- to empower our patients. As child life specialists, we are charged with helping our patients feel known, feel spurred on towards bravery, and feel affirmed in their strength and courage.
So, I leave you then with two….
Questions to Ponder: How can you empower your patients in their bravery? And, where do you get your empowerment?