Believe it or not, I actually don’t like social media all that much. It can be a time waster for me, it promotes narcissism, unhealthy comparison…I digress – you have likely heard these things before.
But I will say this: sometimes social media does something surprising. It boosts my empathy.
Allow me to explain…
I recognized that I have come to a place in my career where not much phases me. My “normal” can be sitting with a wife whose husband is dying and she has no words to explain things to her kids. Introducing myself to a family who is reeling from a cancer diagnosis is a consistent service I provide. It wouldn’t be a “typical day” if I didn’t see at least one child screaming and protesting the discomforts of the hospital.
“I don’t think about the husband’s lifeless hand that I am holding as I help his children remember his fingerprints forever.”
Supporting grief, loss, and insurmountable suffering is something I am all too familiar with. These components, in many ways, are reasons why I chose this profession: I care deeply about stepping into the hardships that patients and families face. However, I do so as a professional. I seek to be their rock, their confidant, their steady professional in the midst of the storm. Sometimes that requires that I restrain my feelings…at least until I get home.
In order to maintain my composure, I oftentimes suspend my feelings for the moment. I don’t think about the husband’s lifeless hand that I am holding as I help his children remember his fingerprints forever. I turn my gaze to focus on another perspective instead of attentively watching the mother collapse to the floor in sobs. I stay disciplined to isolate each event and to not project my own feelings or family into someone else’s nightmare.
Though these strategies can help me remain the steady, yet also, hopefully compassionate professional, there are times when I also think this approach can become dangerous. Restraining my feelings and numbing my empathy can lead to bitterness, disconnection and burnout.
However, the other day I was mindlessly scrolling through Instagram when I happened to see a very emotional picture. A tiny little boy was laying lifeless in his daddy’s arms. The little boy had just died from cancer. Immediately, tears filled my eyes.
What was different about this Instagram picture? Social media conveys powerful messages through new perspective. I was catching a glimpse into a complete stranger’s world. Though social media’s power can be used for negative influence, today I am grateful to be softened to a parent’s suffering and anguish.
I am incredibly thankful at the opportunity to be a composed professional, but I am sacrificing part of how I am wired for the patient in those difficult moments. And, social media seems to give me another chance, as a total stranger, to be whole again. To feel something about this suffering with no strings attached.
The visual of a sister saying goodnight to her bed-ridden brother, the caption revealing the deeper feelings of a mother’s hurting heart, the story of the family trying their best to celebrate the holidays while inpatient… It humanizes it all for me.
So today, I am going to set a time limit for how long I scroll Instagram, and browse in such a way that allows me to glimpse the hospital experience through fresh eyes.