You applied to 25 hospitals diligently. You didn’t get that coveted internship.
You studied faithfully for the exam and are finally certified. You didn’t get offered the job.
You were persistent and friendly towards the nurses. They still didn’t call you for the IV start… again.
You are ready to share your knowledge, create a coping plan, and promote play. The family harshly refuses your services.
Failure. An act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success; nonperformance of something due, required, or expected; a deterioration of strength and vigor.
Are these instances an example of failure?
Or, perhaps…could these be an opportunity for growth? An opportunity to thrive?
Johannes Haushofer, a world-renowned professor with two PhDs, astounded the internet when he published a “CV of Failures” in which he shared with the world a detailed accounting of his disappointments and setbacks.
This idea of sharing about failures was first explored by Melanie Stefan, a postdoc, who identified that success oftentimes, because it is so widely broadcasted, can be assumed to be the norm. And therefore, when we experience failure or setbacks, we experience feelings of loneliness and isolation, believing that we are the only ones to fail.
Well, surprise: I have failed many a time.
Author Bill Taylor shares, “In a world defined by hyper-competition and intense pressure, where business breakthroughs and career advancement demand a willingness to take risks and defy convention, the notion that any person can achieve meaningful success without experiencing setbacks and disappointments seems hopelessly naïve. A willingness to chronicle your failures helps to create the kind of resilience that allows you to get beyond them.”
I thought I would give the Failure Resume a whirl. And you know what I found?
I do fail. I have been rejected. I am imperfect. LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. And guess what? I am still okay! And by grace, I am living to share the fails.
“What if we were to not run from failure, but instead embrace it as a normal part of life and to see it as the rich opportunity it can be?”
I have hope that when I face rejection, perhaps something better is coming or perhaps I was spared from something? Or perhaps what I actually needed was to take my failure and learn from it and grow.
I am not a gardener, but I have heard the analogy that in order to help tomatoes grow, the gardener must break the stem (the source of its life). The fruit withers and looks like it is about to die. The novice gardener may ever think the plant will fail.
And then, slowly the tomato fruits grow into even more rich and ripe tomatoes. That would not be possible without the break, the struggle, the difficulty.
What if we were to view our failures in the same lens as a gardener? What if we were to not run from failure, but instead embrace it as a normal part of life and to see it as the rich opportunity it can be?
Failure isn’t final.
So let’s embrace grace and celebrate growth together.
I will leave you with some questions to ponder:
-How are you measuring your “success”?
-How have you seen success (awards, praise, etc.) be fleeting in the past?
-Who are you comparing yourself to for “success”?
-Why are you afraid to fail? What are the ‘what if’ fear questions you ask?
-Who is on your team to catch you when you fail?
-How can you fail with confidence and with grace?
-How have you seen your failure been used for growth and good in the past?